can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
