I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
