I puked a lego.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
