it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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