that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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