I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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