I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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