I want to have your abortion
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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