1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize