Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
