Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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