Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
