The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
