I puked a lego.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
