Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
