I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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