left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
