You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
