Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
