I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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