She is in my trunk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
