i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
