our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize