Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
