I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
