Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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