you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
