You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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