How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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