I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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