Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
