I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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