Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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