I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
