An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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