3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
