So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
