she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
