Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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