I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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