Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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