It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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