its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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