I'm lost and stupid without you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
