They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
