Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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