There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
