New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
