did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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