I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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