Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We need to get me chipped asap
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