My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
