he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
