you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
