I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
