Pappa wants mamma naked
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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