Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize