I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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