Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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