Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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