I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize