I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
