i can't believe i had my finger in that
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My bed smells like the plague
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
